Have you ever just woke up one day and realized you’ve been caring about all the wrong things in life?

This year, when my husband was put out of his job in a “downsizing” I had a wakeup call of the most higher power.

What am I doing?

I had been leading a life that was not authentic to me. It’s hard to explain here, nor could I ever really explain it well. Everything, all day, felt inconsequential. I wasn’t happy. And then our financial security shattered.

There were a lot of questions unanswered all summer long. I kept seeking.

Over the years, I have found solace in the meaningless life I had been living – the life outside of my family, of course — I finished my book, started teaching writing classes, and began coaching creative types — all things that make me feel alive inside, like what it should feel like as a human being, to be real.

Now, I’m full of Joy and it’s because I have finally fallen awake.  I’ve fallen awake to my life, the one that is going to read on my obituary some day.

She was Awake to This life.

I’m awake to my power. I’m awake to who I am. I’m awake to what moves me and fills me up. I”m awake to the higher good that is inside of me. I’m awake to what gets me up every morning, what drives me through my day and my passions. I’m awake to all that matters in This life.

This. I”m awake to This.

I’ve retreated back to the Internet as a result. When I was most lonely in my life — when my daughters were so very young — I had a blog and I met so many wonderful people around the world. I loved all of them and they made me who I am today.

I am here to declare that I am so very wide awake. Noticing. Reflecting. Paying attention to what matters most — to me.

This.  All this.

And you.


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