Original photo credit: adwriter via Flickr
Relationships don’t have to be complicated.
And yet we make them so.
Children want to know that you love them.
Parents want to know that their children love them back.
What better way to demonstrate your love than by being together. I’m talking casual, easygoing connections. The kind that leave your heart bursting with joy and gratitude.
What better way to do any of that than simple, old-fashioned family time. This is about seeing the ordinary as extraordinary.
That’s what this project is about, you know. Staying awake to what matters most in a human being’s life. Loving and being loved. Embracing family. Restoring faith in humanity. Remembering to give your whole heart and your whole mind to the ones we love most — before it all disappears, whoosh!
To make this kind of impact in a lifetime is a special gift, but it takes practice. Some parents never, ever grasp this concept of showing their love.
Let this not be your fate. Let this not be your child’s fate.
Grab them by their face — big or small — and show them that your eyes are so full of love. Give every bit of your heart today to your child and you will not regret it. The only regret may be that you held back, that you let that special love pale in comparison to other people, places and things.
I asked my village of friends around the world, again, to give me their favorite, ordinary moments as a family. Their words are wise. This is not about traveling to Disney World or Paris. It’s not about spending a ton of money or throwing amazing parties. Their advice is simple: The best moments are when we’re together because simple traditions and rituals are powerful. Those moments are what make make for the best childhood memories. Please add your own ideas in the comments.
10 Easy Ways to Connect as a Family:
READ
“My oldest daughter (age 5) and I love to read chapter books together. At the end of the day, we’ll snuggle together on my bed and read a chapter or two. I love sharing some of the books with her that I loved as a child,” said Terri from Creative Family Fun.
Julie at Creekside Learning said she loves reading to her kids. “I love making different character voices and putting emotion into my voice based on what is going on in the story. I love how captivated my kids are when they are being read to and that books are such a big part of their everyday life.”
Photo Credit: Gracie and Viv via Flickr
SNUGGLE
Snuggling was actually one of the big themes that came up for this post. Krissy at B-Inspired Mama said her family “loves snuggling up on the couch for family movie night. We get pizza and a movie from the Redbox. It doesn’t cost very much but seems so special to the kids.”
“Snuggling in bed with my daughter before she sleeps and talking about our favorite parts of our day,” said Rebekah Patel at The Golden Gleam.
“I’ve often told my husband that when I think of a truly warm and happy moment, it is the moment that I wake up and see that both of my kids have crawled into bed with us. Once we are all awake and cuddling as a family before we start the day…if I ever have to to my inner happy place now or when I’m older- that’s the memory and feeling I’ll invoke.” Tricia of Critters and Crayons.
GO OUTSIDE
MaryAnne at Mama Smiles loves spending time outside with her kids. “I love watching them explore, find an ordinary rock that they find extraordinarily beautiful, and the joy they see in discovering the ‘perfect’ stick!”
“All of us piling in the hammock—a tangle of children’s feet, arms, and legs in all different sizes—and we tell stories,” said Heather at Word Play House.
TAKE WALKS
“We love going for a walk or heading to the local park! In the summer the kids and I enjoy even just walking around outside the house looking at the plants & gardens to see how they are growing and changing and looking for butterflies. A current favorite at our house is a basketball game in the driveway… I think they like it best because Dad plays :).” Jennifer from Plain Vanilla Mom
“Our family loves walks. We enjoy exploring the neighborhood, the park, a trail, or the woods. Spending time together outside, talking, listening, and taking in nature. It’s the best.” Trisha from Inspiration Laboratories.
Photo Credit: Skyseeker via Flickr
CONNECT
“In this warm weather we love to sit on the old couch on our back balcony in the evenings and watch the sky get dark and the moon get brighter and brighter, watch the birds fly off to their trees for the night, and watch the bats come out. We have an ongoing competition to see who spots the first star, and the second, and so on,” said Jane from Mama Pea Pod.
Katherine of Creative Play House said she loves her family’s snuggles before bed. “Chatting about the day. Just playing; tickles, rolling around, being silly together. I also love cooking dinner while Jake sits on the counter helping, learning how to peel veggies, talking about food and anything else he wants, and watching everything I’m doing.”
Photo Courtesy of Gina at famiglia&seoul
PLAY
Gina at Famiglia&seoul has found connecting with extended family and old-fashioned play to be a very meaningful connection for her family. “I really want my son to get to know his grandparents and great grandparents. A couple of weeks ago, I asked them what they enjoyed doing outside as a child and some of the answer I got included playing with chalk, bike rides, making mud pies, and jumping rope. So, we decided to try out each one of their favorite memories (with them) to be able to enjoy the simple things in life that were important to them as a child. It is wonderful to see the smiles on my son and my family’s faces when they share these experiences for the first time.”
Danielle at 52 New Experiences said, “I love waiting for the bus with my children. We are the only ones at our bus stop, so we play tag, Simon Says, Mother May I, Red Light Green Light…all the games I used to play as a child!”
Amanda at Dirt and Boogers said, “We horseplay a lot around here. We tickle each other, run around the house, give piggy back rides, and wrestle around on the floor. The giggles are contagious, and we have a great time!
Photo Credit: Familymwr via Flickr
BAKE TOGETHER
Valerie from Glittering Muffins said cooking and baking is a favorite “because we all love food and to be able to make it together and see Nico’s excitement when stirring, pouring or cutting is just contagious.”
photo credit: cookie flores via Flickr
TAKE A DRIVE
“We love to go for ‘dinner drives’. We pack our dinner into foil containers, jump in the car and drive around until we find a spot we like (next to a beach, lake or playground usually). If the weather is nice we open up the rear hatch and sit on cushions in the cargo area together to eat, chat and sometimes watch a movie if we take the portable player with us. The kids particularly like parking near the airport and watching the planes land while they eat!” Carrie at A Little Learning for Two.
Photo Credit: Flashy Soup Can via Flickr
RELAX
“Hauling all our blankies and pillows to the living room floor on friday nights, making marshmallow popcorn, and giggling our faces off while we try to watch a movie. With 6 kids, it’s not so quiet and we miss most of the movie every time!” Arlee from My Small Potatoes.
“Sundays are family day for us. Everything we do is together as a family and we love it. From the mundane grocery shopping to an afternoon family spa (hot tub) to dinner at grandpa’s house.” Deborah with Learn with Play.
FAMILY MEALS
“I enjoy our mealtimes together. Sometimes we sit for a couple of hours talking and eating. It’s not always at dinnertime either, sometimes it’s over pancakes on a Saturday morning. We have some the most memorable and interesting conversations with our 4-year-old because he wants to know more about something or simply because we’re just reminiscing about something from the past,” said Heather at Little Moments to Embrace.
Original Photo Credit: Adam_d_ via Flickr
Let us close our eyes and send loving thoughts to all mothers of the world doing their absolute best despite their circumstances.
Dear You.
Dear wonderful, sweet tired, worn-out You.
Sit down. Rest.
Clear your mind of all thoughts.
Forget the morning’s drama. Forget the battle cries. Forget the way things just didn’t go well this morning.
Rest. Let go of the day’s worries and stresses. Just be.
Know this. Know just this.
You are doing a great job.
In the middle of all of what you see as mistakes and failures and imperfections there is so much perfection and beauty.
You are their Sunshine. Their umbrella. Their warm blanket. Their hand to hold.
You are their patient. Their student. Their baby to babysit. Their fellow swashbuckling pirate.
Their monster-scare-awayer.
Credit: Scott Edwards Photography via Flickr
You are not told it enough but you are loved.
You are loved for how, at the end of the day, you make everything better with a single kiss and a bedtime story.
Love you to the moon, and back.
You are loved for your gentle touch and playful laugh even when all you feel like doing is taking a nap.
Sleep little baby don’t say a word.
You are loved for how you bring everyone together by offering a nourishing meal, a good night’s rest, clothes that match, games to play, piles upon piles of books to read.
You are loved for making sure everything is just the way it needs to be. Always. Day after day. Season after season. Year after year. Phase after phase.
In the middle of what you see as mistakes and failures and imperfections there is so much perfection and beauty.
You.
Your warmth. Your security. Your faith. Your trust. Your love. Your give-everything-you’ve-got heart. Your it-will-be-ok messages. Your eat-your-veggies please pleas.
There may not be a village holding you up.
There may not be a village patting you on the back. There may not be a village giving you a break. There may not even be a village there to catch you when you fall.
Catch yourself.
Catch yourself doing things right. Catch yourself doing things well. Catch yourself being full of love.
Catch yourself doing your very best.
Appreciate yourself and all that you offer to the world. Show yourself the love that you’ve been longing to receive. Immerse yourself in the joy of living as a precious gift to yourself.
Wear the crown of Mother proudly. Let it shine upon your kind soul and light up the world as much as you light up your children.
And at the end of the day, you will be there.
You.
Even when they are gone. Even when you are apart. Even when times are hard.
You will always be their mother.
And everyone is just fine. They are doing great. They are wonderful. Amazing.
Because of you.
Oh yes … because of you.
Original Photo Cred: Kindercapes
May you, for just a little bit this week, stop worrying.
They’re fine.
Your children are fine.
Truly, they are.
May you think back to your own childhood.
You survived.
You suffered.
You turned out Awesome.
When your children hit bumps, and they will, hug them.
When they run into trouble, guide them.
When they face uncertainty, coach them.
Each day is a new day.
A new day to appreciate how great they are right now.
A new day to appreciate how far they’ve come along.
A new day to appreciate how independent they are becoming.
A new day to appreciate each other.
A new day to try a little harder, do a little better, give a little more.
May you keep wiping their tears.
Keep kissing those boo-boos.
May you respect their broken hearts and all of their wild emotions.
Keep cheering them on.
Keep dusting them off.
Keep steering them this way and that.
Keep watching them soar.
May you keep encouraging them to fly, even away from you bit by bit.
Keep at it. Keep at it. Keep at it.
The children are fine.
Your children are fine.
They will continue to be fine.
And so will you.
For even more doses of inspiration, check out all the other weekly intentions.
Original Photo via Mary Tegtmeyer on Flickr
How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. Let me sit here for ever with bare things, this coffee cup, this knife, this fork, things in themselves, myself being myself. — Virginia Woolf, “The Waves”
This week, let’s go quiet together.
Let’s listen more and update less.
Let’s hear each other’s silent screams of fear and anxiety.
Let other people talk.
Let other people fight to have their voice heard.
Let other people have the last word.
Let other people be right.
Not you.
This week, you are sitting back, waiting.
This week, you are smiling and nodding.
This week, you have nothing to prove.
If you must speak, whisper.
Leave the yelling for another week.
Leave the lectures for another week.
Be a silent warrior. Do things without asking.
Swallow your expectations.
Wash them down with a nice cup of tea.
Say nothing. Think nothing.
Turn everything off.
Even your mind.
When you feel the urge to speak out, breathe instead.
Shush yourself.
Shush yourself again and again.
See what unfolds.
What do you discover at the core of your being?
Maybe you aren’t going screen-free this week. Maybe you aren’t interested in being quiet. If so, there are always past weekly intentions you can read and take hold of — do only what you need right now. You’ll know what’s calling you.
Original Photo Cred: Corsi Photo via Flickr
One of the things I, as a parent who doesn’t watch television, struggle most with is allowing my children to watch television.
I have fond memories of watching TV as a kid.
But, I have stronger memories of playing outside in the woods, building dirt and twig forts and running free, hosting tea parties for all of my dolls, playing school and spending hours recording stories on a cassette recorder.
Which of these memories bring back happier memories?
Not the ones about watching too much TV. Those are barely a blip in my memory bank. But ask me about playing on my grandparent’s 50-acres and I can go on and on.
Children, for lack of knowing any better, will always choose to watch TV or go to the computer unless we teach them to think outside the box. For some people, like The Outlaw Mom, television has definite benefits.
For me, it’s about a balance so I prefer to redirect some of the time. Yet, it’s about saying yes as much as it’s about saying no.
Original Photo Cred: Greg Westfall via Flickr
I’ve asked some parents around the blogosphere to share their favorite strategies to distract children from television and other techno gadgets that seem to be invading our homes and here are some the best they had to offer as well as my own. These moms also have great sites to find many, many activities to do with your children instead of television.
10 Creative ways to Break a TV Habit:
Make it a Family Choice: Take the pledge to really stop using gadgets as an everyday pasttime. Practice during Screen-Free week. Unplug.
Set the Stage: Cathy from the Nurture Store suggests setting up an “Invitation to Play” by having enticing materials to spark play all ready for when a child comes home from school. Maybe teddy bears waiting for a tea party or some art materials.
Change up their Routine: Do not say a word but leave a surprise for them like Zina from Let’s Lasso the Moon has done by putting art supplies on the kitchen table when they wake up in the morning.
Set Limits: Bernadette from 2 Posh Little Divas gives her children certain times when they can watch TV, but they cannot watch before school when she wants their brains to be quiet and focused before heading out for a day of learning. {In our house, we will say yes to TV only after certain chores are done as a way to get things picked up.}
Let them Choose: Have them make a list of things they think are cooler than TV. Honor their choices and respect them enough to help them happen. We’re big on letting our kids set most of the weekend’s to-do list. Or, they can choose something from their “Think Outside the Box Box.”
Loosen your Grip: The more we push them away from the TV, the more they may want it. Watch yourself and how much power you are giving these gadgets. Let go a bit. Rebekah from The Golden Gleam allows one hour in the middle of the day each day and that works nicely for her family.
Shoot your TV: {Just kidding!} Many people have turned off their TV service and now use only Netflix or Internet TV when they have the time and desire to watch. Jennifer Fischer at The Good Long Road said this works great for her family, which happens to make films for a living.
Play With Them: The most obvious, it seems, but sometimes we need reminded that children learn more from us than any toy or TV show. And, there aer many easy and fun ways to play including 25 Ways to Just Be With Your Child. And, here’s another 15 Ways to Play as a Family.
Use the Technology: Angelique Felix uses YouTube to create videos that are appropriate and timed perfectly for her child. She shared two playlists with me: a 10-minute stories playlist and a 20-minute playlist.
Challenge Them: We have been known to resort to challenges at our house. Friendly competition, really. It always works to say something like, “Let’s see who can … ” and give them a challenge such as who can find the most circles, or who can draw the biggest castle. We’ve also done the Family Farmer’s Market Scavenger Hunt, which incorporated my girls’ gadgets with photography and exercise.
Talk to them: Point out the amazing things there are to do in life and how time is short — too short to sit in front of a television. I say this to my girls all the time. They do not ask to watch TV in the mornings and rarely in the afternoons because they realize that would be time away from more fun things like taking walks, playing and doing art projects. They still like TV, for sure, but they love to play together and as a family even more!
They understand that to make memories means connecting with family in meaningfuly ways.
I love that about them.
Sometimes, we just need motivation to put an end to our less-than-ideal habits. Sometimes, we just need a to find a community that supports new, positive habits. Too much TV/computer/smartphone use is on the rise.
I have friends who take weekends off because the barage of information is just too much for their brains to take in. This information age is upon us and we have to learn to cope. We have to learn to find a balance of embracing this amazing world of iPads and instant communication with the slow, easygoing life most of us desire.
Maybe it’s Screen-Free Week that motivates you to consume less.
Maybe you see your family growing more distant to each other.
Maybe your dreams are bigger and better than those playing out in the movies and on television.
Maybe your life is more amazing than that friend who’s constantly updating on Facebook.
Maybe.
I urge you to help me create a mindful screens community here. Take this Mindful Screens vow with me and take it seriously.
This is about your everyday use of technology and how to balance it so that you don’t burnout, it’s about teaching ourselves to know when enough is enough. It’s also about making sure we practice what we preach.
It’s about intentional, everyday UNPLUGGING.
Take this pledge and start finding new ways to balance your crazy life with the fast pace of technology.
You can find the printable version for this Pledge right HERE.
And, to show solidarity, please write your name and how you will be more mindful in the comments below to declare a mindful TV and computer lifestyle for your whole family.
- I vow to BE MINDFUL of the screens I watch.
- I will hide my smartphone for periods of time each day.
- I will explore WHY and HOW I am using screens in my life.
- We will watch TV together and make it an event, not a pastime.
- I vow to monitor what my family watches regularly.
- We will choose being together and connecting over screen time.
Sign Below (in comments):
Original Photo Cred: Abilis via Flickr
Last year, our part of the country had no spring. Literally, we went from winter to summer with nothing but rain in between.
This year, we couldn’t be more grateful for the amazing weather we’ve been having.
To honor this season, I want to make sure that our family enjoys it to the fullest by writing a bucket list, of sorts. Call it whatever you want but it’s a list of things you want to do.
Here’s how to Write your Spring Bucket List.
- Grab a blanket and throw it on the grass outside.
- Grab a notebook and pens, crayons and markers.
- Brainstorm. Doodle. Create a list.
- Get up. Fold the blanket.
- Start doing the list.
If you don’t get to everything on your list — and you probably will not — add it to next year’s spring list. Or, better yet, move that item to your summer bucket list.
Here are 10 Ideas for Your Spring Bucket List {to get you started!}.
Plant a Secret Garden: Find a container and fill it with beautiful flowers. Watch them grow. Be amazed. Read the book while you’re at it!
Take a Spring Walk: Look for robins, spring flowers, worms, ants, floating clouds, tree buds. Listen for bees buzzing, flies, birds chirping, and people laughing outside. Smell the fragrances of freshly cut grass, newly bloomed flowers, barbecued dinners wafting through the air.
Go on a Family Hike: Invite another family to go along. Pack a picnic lunch and your best hiking shoes. Enjoy the peace. Enjoy the climb. Enjoy the cool water on your lips at the end.
Create a Backyard Field Guide: Make your own book about the animals, birds and insects that live in or around your house. This could include anything. Even if you live in an urban environment, there are birds, mice and squirrels just waiting to be spotted. Our guide will include a male and female duck couple, a groundhog, a bunny, cardinals and other birds. And, we even had what looked like a family of stray cats and kittens earlier this spring!
Fly a Kite: If there is wind, let there be a kite flying. It is always great entertainment and, the way we do it, good exercise, too.
Plan a Picnic: You can’t have spring without a nice, sunny picnic. Pack anything your hearts desire. All bets are off with picnic food. Lately, fruit, veggies, cheese and croissants are our faves but we’ve been known to do sandwiches, salads and even picked up fast food to take to the park where we run it all off together. Whatever is easiest works best.
Play Spy Games: Send everyone on a mission as spies. Learn to whisper and tip-toe your way through the grass to spy on one of those great creatures in your backyard. Wear sunglasses. Put on a disguise if you must. What else can you spy on outside?
Walk Barefoot: Walk slowly, mindfully and fully aware through the cool grass. What does the grass feel like between your toes? Encourage the whole family to do it. Wash the grass stains off later …
Hug a Tree: Not to go all tree hugger here, but choose a tree near your home and make it your Family Tree. Decorate it with lovely bird treats. Take a photo of it blooming. Give it a name and extra mulch. Then, follow your Family Tree through the seasons, photographing it along the way, but always treating it with the most love and kindness you can muster.
Enjoy a Spring Dinner: Before spring rushes out the door in a big, fat hurry, throw her a wonderful good-bye dinner. The evening of June 19th, bring out all the best dishes and pick all the best flowers and have a family dinner — yes, on a Tuesday night. Eat only the best seasonal foods you can find. Light a candle for spring goodness. Share your favorite spring memories and be sure to add them all to your memory jars!
Now, tell me what you’re putting on your Spring to-do list. Summer arrives on Wednesday, June 20. Share your thoughts in the comments.
Photo Credit: Mykl Roventine
Spring is here.
Stay awake.
Rise early. With a hot cup of coffee, walk outside. Close your eyes and listen for the birds. They seem to wake happy every day no matter what. Their songs will bring you instant joy if you let them.
Breathe in the smells of the trees and the grass, both dripping with tears from the night sky’s beauty.
Let the crisp, cool air fill your lungs.
Sit quiet and let your mind wander. And wonder. Let it rest before the day begins.
Do this as many mornings as possible.
Photo Credit: Robinrkc
In the middle of your day, walk outside and look up.
Float with the clouds. Smell the flowers. Sway with the trees.
Feel that glorious sunshine pour into your way-too-busy mind. Stay there and let it pour through you until you’ve recharged and reenergized.
Do this as many afternoons as possible.
Stay up late. Take a cool glass of iced tea onto your front lawn. Listen to the darkness. Listen to the quiet. Honor that neighbor who is rushing to mow before tomorrow’s rain. Honor that dog barking in the distance.
Listen to the rain drip into the earth, quenching the bugs and worms beneath us.
Feel the night air soak into your skin. Watch as the stars twinkle and whisper sweet everythings into your ears.
Do this as many evenings as possible.
Photo Credit: Craig Cloutier
Stay awake. Spring will fly by like a flock of geese. Summer will be here soon.
It’s not too late to fall in love with spring.
Stay awake.
Photo Credit: jk5854
A while ago, I had been writing weekend roundup posts, and I really loved that concept. Even though I try to live my life celebrating every day, I am a working mama and so I do very much enjoy the freedom that a good weekend can provide.
Oh, yes. I enjoy it very much.
Weekends offer so much time and possibility that isn’t like the usual weekday madness or being stuck to a confining desk. Weekends, for us, also mean that Awesomely Awake dad will be around more.
Weekends can also be a time of stress. I am consistently less productive on weekends because we are out of our routine. We tend to place higher expectations on our time together as a family so that we don’t waste a single moment. And, sometimes, we over-schedule.
This is all part of that control factor we’ve been focusing on this week. If we can’t even let go on our weekends, what kind of living are we really doing? We have to be willing to miss out on a few things if we want to truly relax and recharge. Loosening our grip on those silly details we obsess over would be a great start to any weekend.
But, at the same time, if you work all week, catching up on errands and having a clean house — finally! — might be what makes you feel better. Just make it a portion of the weekend and not the whole thing.
I’ve tried many ways to balance my weekends. I’ve tried detailed lists. I’ve tried no lists. I’ve tried one-day of work and errands and the other doing not much of anything. Truth is, it all works and none of it works. Now I just enjoy the time without larger-than-life expectations. We usually plan one really fun thing and do one really important thing. The rest of the weekend, we leave to the kids. Of course, I always make time for myself to do something I really want to do as well.
As I head into this weekend, here are some things inspiring me to enjoy an intentional, creative and fun weekend.
- In true Awesomely Awake spirit, I love this piece “You are already there” that Heather wrote that questions just how mindful we need to be as parents. It is always a balance.
- And then there’s Lindsey’s post, “A benediction of what is.” {LOVE THIS}.
- And, how about Preparing an Earth-Friendly Meal in honor of Earth Day next weekend? Get to the Farmer’s Market this week to prepare or celebrate early! Rebekah at The Golden Gleam did a lovely job with this post.
- Or, how about a few projects on this Childhood List, where blogger Katie is listing many cool things a childhood should consist of such as arts and crafts and places to go? This is surely a list to return to again and again.
Photo Credit: Zina from Let's Lasso the Moon
Finally, the best Activity: Indoor Camping. Sooo setting this up for the girls this weekend. It’s too cold here to do much else. Zina’s got a great idea here. Or, how about a faux camp out like here at Little Happies:
Now it’s your turn. Share your favorite inspiring posts with this week’s Kids Co-Op. Or, just share what you plan to do this weekend. Or not do!
Awesomely Awake 