Original Photo Cred: dr_tr via Flickr
Earlier this week, the oh-so-familiar book club order came home in the folders. You know the one? It has piles upon piles of books just screaming out “Buy Me! Buy Me!”
Our Pinkalicious girls love books, like most children do in kindergarten, and yet despite being very imaginative, being very smart and reading on their own …
THEY ALWAYS CHOOSE PINK BOOKS.
So, I banned ordering or buying pink books. Last month, I made them buy their own pink books.
I guess I get tired of seeing pink. Plus, the writing is rarely good in the pink books.
Like always, I asked them to circle the books they like — just not pink books.
What do you think they chose?
Pink. Books.
I gave that evil mom look that kids just love. And I started to spout off my usual rant when …
Liana said, “But did you see the pink book I didn’t circle?”
Screeech …. Awake Moment.
Her comment stopped me in my tracks.
She was right. I hadn’t noticed that there were many other pink books that she didn’t circle.
Right there, standing in the middle of the messy kitchen, rose up some serious mommy guilt about how I only focus on the negative, can’t ever say anything nice, etc. etc. etc.
This week, I’ve been thinking and writing a lot about the idea of being a good mom. As you know here and here.
A good enough mom.
A mom that is good.
Like you, I question myself.
Of course, as I write this post, there is the breaking news about Time Magazine’s cover asking “Are you mom enough?”
{If you are a mom, you are plenty mom enough.}
Photo Credit: Jesse.Millan via flickr
The qualities needed to raise a mother are so vast it’s hard to write the recipe. Even harder to write one for an Awake mother.
Perhaps that is why we doubt ourselves so much?
I’ve often asked, “Where’s the textbook for this?” Or, “Why is this so much easier for those other parents?”
In my early days of parenting, I longed for guidelines, rules, play-by-plays to make sure I was doing it all right. I still often want exact phrases to use as a response in quirky situations so that I don’t say the wrong thing. Again.
An eraser, some days, would be really nice. Or white out. A really big bottle of white out. I’d wear it for lipstick.
Alas, no such thing exists in the realm of parenting.
How do you raise a mother?
I am growing closer to understanding as I travel this Awesomely Awake journey.
You just need to be yourself.
Because neither you nor I nor any mother in the world is the same.
And our children are equally as beautiful and different.
To parent like the Smiths down the street or the mom on Time’s cover would be a shame — for you and for your children.
Authenic parenting — authentic and creative mothering — means putting your unique spin on raising a child, raising a family and raising a mother.
Make up the rules yourself by trusting your heart to know what is best. Write your manifesto and set the dreams on fire.
So, in a nutshell, mothering is an art.
A little color here. A splash there. Trial. Error. Constant practice.
Crumpled up first drafts. Ah-ha moments. Heart-pounding success.
And satisfaction in your soul.
All with the single outcome — beauty.
So, how can you be a good mom? How can you be an Awake mom?
Show up every single day. Give it your best shot. Notice what you say and do but without self-doubt. And look at your job as an artist looks at a piece of art — with admiration and the desire to constantly improve.
And with immense understanding that mistakes will happen. They most certainly will.
But, like a true artist, you know that at any point you can always start over — with a smile and I’m sorry and I love you.
And you can have one pink book.
Happy Mother’s Day every day!
Awesomely Awake 